Category Archives: Christmas

Black Friday

Drats!

I meant to be up at 3:00 a.m. to make the 4:00 a.m. Black Friday opening of the stores this morning.

Now my whole Christmas is ruined…

Not!

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Deck the halls with lots of… mucus?

Merry <cough> <cough> <cough> Christmas.

Yep! Spent my holiday sick. Not alot of fun. As a friend said, “When the witchdoctor is sick, we’re all in trouble!”

At one point I was so delirious with fever that a plastic turtle on the floor of the bathroom came alive and tried to attack me. It was ok, though, I ran faster than he did…

I’ll race you…

As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. “Let’s get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us.” They left, running…

Plastic Jesus in a Manger

The Bible is nothing but lies.
A bunch of Jews wrote it.
Church is full of hypocrites.
Christianity is no different than Islam.
There’s no such thing as a faith that can move mountains.

Just a couple of the of the comments I heard tonight, most of which were directed at me.

I’d been invited to speak to a crowd of folks at a Brasilian Christmas party, most of whom were not Christians. “Tell them the real meaning of Christmas” had been my orders from the hostess. “Oh, and they don’t know you’re going to do that.”

Great. Nothing like a sneak attack of Christianity on a bunch of unsuspecting pagans. It is always so well received in that environment.

In the Christmas Tale According to Joe, the audience got a double-barrel of real Jesus. No plastic, fake little baby Jesus in a manger. No little town of Bethlehem. No cattle lowing, no shepherds, no angels. Nope, Joe focused on the donkey dung. Literally.

And they saw the authentic Jesus.

Life throws you crap. Jesus turned it into a miracle. He can do the same for you.

They bought what I was smoking. You could have heard a pin drop.

“Now I know why I felt like I had to come to this party tonight” was the comment that confirmed that the Spirit had set this whole thing up.

That is the miracle of Christmas…

Christmas Eve!

Wow! This is going to be some kind of a busy, slamming day!

I have to play Scrooge to start the day off — I have to work. Because of that I can’t participate in the Christmas Kitchen that Lifepoint is doing downtown at the Water Street Restaurant. That was a blast last year and I’m sure it’ll be a repeat hit today. But, sick folks are rather insistent in being attended to.

Mid-afternoon it’ll be off to Ashley High School to get ready for the two jammin’ Christmas Eve services there. Tear down will have to be quick because I then have to run back across town to a Christmas Eve party Brazilian style.

The neatest part is that I’ve been asked to tell the party about Jesus! Most of them don’t know him and really don’t care for him. This is going to be fun! I can guarantee that they’re going to hear about him in a way they NEVER have… the Christmas story according to Joe.

Like I said, this is going to be some kind of a busy, slamming day!

The three kings of orient

I find it interesting that parts of the Christmas story, as popularly portrayed, are completely wrong.

It begs the question of why we are so bound to tradition that we can’t represent the truth. Might this be one of the bricks in the wall of doubt and derision that the unbeliever struggles with when viewing Christianity from the outside?

Take the three kings appearing at the stable on the day of Jesus’ birth.

  • First, where do we come up with the number three?
  • “Kings?” No, more appropriate is “magicians.” This is the same term used to describe Simon the Sorcerer in Acts.
  • They didn’t appear at the stable on his birth day, they appeared at his house more than a year later.

All the text says is:

Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.” (Matthew 2:1-2)

I think I like the Swahili version

The Maji

Here’s a different take on the maji concept.

In Swahili, “maji” means “water.” Jesus is the Water of Life; the “bearers of water” came to acknowledge the “Water of Life.”

Want more details? Check out a great article called Birth of Jesus Recalculated.