Jesus is my best friend…

There are times when you just want to beat your head against the wall. There are others when you just want to hide and cry. Sometimes you want to do both.

I just received a catalog of “Christian Spiritual Products.” Like I needed that.

Well, maybe I do.

Perusing the section on “Spiritual Auto Accessories,” I found a really neat, and original, key ring that states: “Jesus is the Key to Your Salvation,” with an accompanying clip art of an old key. Another that tugged at my purse strings was the license plate frame with “Thou Shalt Not Steal” written across the top. But the one that had me pulling out my plastic was the “Christian Republican” hitch cover (there wasn’t one that said “Christian Democrat;” could it be that a) there is no such thing; b) the owner is a Republican and has condemned all Democrats to hell; or, c) they want the Democrats to puchase the “Not Only American. Christian Also” selection?).

What is especially appealing is all the evangelism I could do by simply accessorizing. I could tell visitors who are putting their hot Jesus mugs (picture of Jesus included) on my coasters that sing “Without Faith It Is Impossible to Please Him;” as I cut bread on a cutting board that proclaims “As For Me and My House We Will SERVE the Lord!” Why, I could even use my 1.5 oz. shot glass that informs us “Jesus Saves” as I pour that bourbon and coke for them. Yessir! I can become an evangelism wizard (oops! I’m not suppose to reference them, am I?)

I’ll bet none of the apostles had green terrycloth towels that had an embroided “Jesus Is My Best Friend!” (exclamation point included to prove that I REALLY mean it!) on them. It makes inquiring minds ask how they were as successful as they were without such spiritual aids…