Drats! Jesus was the result of a rape…

According to an article that appeared with fanfare the other day on foxnews.com, Jesus was probably the son of Mary and a Roman soldier who raped her during the Jewish uprising in Galilee.

It is in his upcoming biography of Jesus, that Paul Verhoeven, director of “Basic Instinct” and “RoboCops” makes the claim. That would simply make Jesus a happy carpenter who worked at Lowe’s or Home Depot, certainly not the Savior of the world.

And I’d just gotten comfortable with his portrayal by American Christianity as a long-haired hippy type who walked around preaching love…

4 responses to “Drats! Jesus was the result of a rape…

  1. well i guess you also didn’t hear that abraham lincoln was gay and that tupac and elvis are coming out with a duet album.
    it’s pretty sweet, you can preview it on itunes.

  2. oh and one more thing, jesus was a liberal

  3. oops, i mean a gun carrying republican, standing up for justice and our rights! we’ll show the pharisees!
    that’s my rambo jesus impression

  4. this is too much fun…
    “ok guys, i’m not going to be here long, but i’m going to leave a comforter, he goes by the name of George bush, he is going to help you smoke them out of their holes. Just follow his lead and show them who is boss. don’t be meek, just make mincemeat of them all. It is your way of the highway. Now kick some ass!”

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